I have had a baby blanket since the beginning of time. No really. It has taken different forms; but it’s always a blanket with a satin edge that I weave between my fingers and rub which we have referred to as twiddling and it is soft and soothing. I have done this to emotionally regulate since childhood and I continue to this day. Every day. I used to be incredibly embarrassed by this because I was told I should be but in general I sleep like a baby.

Currently my blanket is in two pieces: the blanket and the satin edge that is almost destroyed (fear not I have another blanket with satin edges I claimed from my nanas house when she passed and I will be secure in the future). The twiddles is a very thin almost in 2 pieces 12 inch strip and it is currently missing amongst the sheets of our bed.

My blanket: is in my daughter’s crib. We had it on the couch and she loves to snuggle with a blanket and she refused to let it go even at the crib. So here we are. Me sitting here having some bad sleep because; my doggy had to go potty then I had to go potty; and now no twiddles or blanket to soothe me back to sleep.

Is this what other people go through regularly? I had insomnia during pregnancy and a hard time when they were babies and getting up literally every 2-3 hours. I am not exaggerating when I say we didn’t sleep for more than 4 hour periods at most for 9 months. But I chalk that all up to baby stuff. I typically sleep like a baby and heavy as a rock. Ask my poor sweet husband. Maybe I should just go look for the back up blankie. Bub. Haha. That blankie is gonna be bubby.

My life is exactly how it’s supposed to be. The thing I love the most is I can be me and my husband does not make fun of me for it. He didn’t make fun of me for needing my blankie and twiddles in the hospital after giving birth to our children or when I needed it to sleep on our wedding night. He just loves me. He will however bit my head off if I wake him up frantically searching and poking him pulling through bed sheets or turning on a light. So I won’t do that. Poor babe. The things he has put up because he loves me; but boundaries are important.

Good night: or good morning to all you 7 am-ers out there. ✌🏻